Home

I have been thinking a lot lately about what that word means. I used to focus so much on that time in the future when we would own a place of our own and be able to do what we (or I) wanted with it. To me, that thing in the future was a home. What I have come to realize now is that I have been blessed to have many, many homes.

I got further affirmation of that this weekend walking into our not so impressive, one bedroom apartment in a Best Western in Milwaukee. It felt like home. Do you know why...because it is my home. I got the best feeling of welcome and safety and peace and love. My home is wherever I am with the 2 people who mean the most to me. It is the space my family shares that was dedicated by my priesthood holding husband.

I think if you were to ask Tate what "home" means...well, he would probably "moo" or "tu-tu"...but if he could form a sentence, I think he would say, "Home is where mommy, daddy, and I live." To him "home" isn't an address or any one place in particular, it is more of a feeling. And that makes me happy. I could stress that my son hasn't lived in one place longer than 4 months at a time during his little lifetime, but I don't (anymore). He is getting to experience so much, and, honestly, won't remember this time much.

This home that we share now isn't decorated with anything fancy, just the furniture it came with. The things that decorate my home tonight are a pile of books Tate reads daily, Zachary's boots which Tate takes out of the closet 20+ times a day to "moo" at, bins of food storage that won't fit in the cabinets, medical books and my daily journal on a desk, a basket full of cars, and a sweet smelling blue blanket. The point is that everything that decorates my home is just what we need and all of it makes me happy.

So, until that day in the future comes when we settle down somewhere and buy a house, I look forward to the chance to have many more home for making many more wonderful memories. I will forever be grateful for the simplicity of making a home filled with people and things I love and topped off with the peaceful assurance of the spirit of the Lord.

Found this on pinterest and think I may need to make it part of my decor one day!!

My Zachary

That man...geez, seriously don't know what I would do without him! This blog seems to mostly be about the "T" part of the A-Z, but I sure do love my Z. He is turning 28 tomorrow (that means our annual 9 days of being the same age are over)...so this post is about him.

We are coming up on 5 years of marriage and I feel just as lucky as I did 5 years ago, yet more grateful for my choice in a husband. I had no idea 5 years ago how perfect he was for me and how much I would need so many little things about him. I am lucky enough to know a goofy, somewhat crazy side of him that he only exposes around me and his mini-me. That side of him is one of the many I love...dance moves and all!

Zachary treats me like I am the most special thing to him. He is always concerned for me and encouraging me. He makes me feel beautiful every single day, even when I shouldn't. A day never passes without at least 5 "I love you's". He knows when I need a break and gives me my time, even though he is a busy, busy man.

My husband is a hard working fool. Bottom line, med school is tough, there is no way around it. He handles it like a champ and has totally and completely excelled in less than ideal circumstances. He studies, studies, and then studies more. I could not be more proud of Dr. Zachary Stevenson. I know he isn't a doctor yet, but when I listen to him talk, I hear doctor in his voice and see it all over his face. He is gonna make one handsome doctor :)

I will have to make this next part short to avoid crying all over my keyboard, but my husband and his son have the best bond. That bond has existed from the moment that tiny baby was cut out of me and wheeled to the NICU with his daddy following his incubator...pure love. I just love watching them and listening to them. Zach loves that little boy like crazy, talks about him all the time, and kisses his head at least a thousand times a day. The two of them sit together and just take things in, Zach tells him about the world and everything he sees. They wrestle and play and dance and laugh and give kisses to mommy. I am one lucky woman to get to spend my days with the two of them.

I am just grateful that 28 years ago my Zachary was born and that 5 years ago he asked me to marry him. Those two events have shaped my life more than any others and have blessed me in more ways than I can count. Because of him I am happier, more confident, and more complete than I ever was without him. Happy Birthday Handsome, I love you!

And I will forever be grateful that these 2 boys are mine forever!!

Maine to Milwaukee

My life confuses me sometimes, so I know other people don't understand it at all. I figured it would be nice to clarify what is going on for the faithful person or 2 who actually read my blog (might be pointless...this could be a family only reading blog)! But, for me to even remember...here goes!

We are back in the states, but Zach is attending a Caribbean Medical School. These school do all of the clinical part of medical school (2 years) rotating in hospitals in the United States. They have affiliations with various hospitals, mostly on the east coast, and for rotations it is a take what you can get kind of thing. Out time in Maine was for an intro to clinical skills, Zach was a little further along than most students there, so he was able to get placed into a rotation sooner than we expected...much sooner.

I need to stop right now and say that it broke my heart a little bit to leave Maine. I really fell in love with it there and made some great friends and have some wonderful memories there. I can say for sure that at some point, I WILL be going back for a visit!

Back to the story...We got an email 2 weeks ago that said there would be an open spot for a psyc rotation in Milwaukee starting in 2 weeks. It is at a strictly psyc hospital with a great residency program and we felt is was best to just get started...so we took it! The only downside is psyc is only a 6 week rotation and there are no other affiliations here in Milwaukee, so we get to move AGAIN in 6 weeks :( The good news is that the clinical coordinator is going to place us in Atlanta for an extended period of time after this.

I frantically searched for a place to live that wouldn't cost us a million dollars for such a short term and would give us more than 200 square feet. Drum roll please...we are living in a 1 bedroom corporate apartment in a Best Western Hotel! Don't be jealous, it is quite impressive, I know. Seriously though, quite the step down from the beach front Grand Victorian, but we actually love it...it feels much more "us". And, Tate, the kid is a fan of Milwaukee apparently (or he likes the close quarters) cause he is sleeping better, eating better, and acting better since we have been here. We do have access to a huge indoor pool with a little toddler play area and an outdoor sundeck, which help my water, running loving little dude!

And the road trip was not terrible, thanks to a few things. 1...I gave in and turned his car seat around. He was starting to get really fussy in the car and having to put his legs in all kinds of awkward positions. I really wanted to wait until 2, but 19 months will have to. I just couldn't make him scream through another 1,100 mile roadtrip (or put his daddy through that, he is not the most patient)! 2...A $10 iPad headrest mount from amazon along with a few episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Backyardigans on iTunes, Tate's 2 favorite shows. I also found some random free episodes of Sesame Street and Chuck, which were a nice break for mommy and daddy from the other 2 theme songs :)

Tate's reaction to being forward facing...thrilled!

Watching Mickey with his Backyardigan!

For now we are just taking all these changes and moves in stride and being grateful for the opportunities to see so many different cities...and also laughing at how many places Tate has not only been, but lived in his 19 months!

Yum, Yum

1. I could really go for some King Cake right now! I was always the lucky one to get the baby...love that stuff. And don't even get me started on Pan de Muerto. Every year living in Mexico when I saw it out in the stores, I would get giddy...and then eat it almost daily during the whole Pan de Muerto season as I like to call it. I really need to work on my baking skills...I have an irrational fear of baking. I did make a mean batch of banana bread a few weeks ago, should have boosted my confidence.

Maybe it is better for my figure that I don't bake...I know it is better for my husband's figure. Don't tell him I shared this, but for Valentine's I made some cupcakes (box mix, doesn't count as real baking) 12 cupcakes and 2 cute little heart shaped cakes. I had 2 cupcakes and about half a heart shaped cake and it was all gone in 2 days. Oh...and my kid doesn't eat, remember. Just sayin!

2. I seriously am loving Maine though (despite the lack of my favorite baked goods). This whole living on a beach looking out the window at a quaint little old New England town...I could get used to it. We have discovered some new areas up the beach from us that are picture perfect, PERFECT. I need to get some pictures to show off. I am looking forward to our adventures of getting to see so many areas of the US...moving not so much.

I mean...how perfect is this, right in front of our building. The tides here swing like crazy. You can tell that high tide covers this whole picture. So when it is low tide, we like to go wander under the pier. So cool...but the Maine beach wind can be a bit painful!

3. We have a full blown couch hog on our hands. Not just couch, but anything you sit on hog...well he really just does it to me, he sits sweetly next to his daddy. It drives me nuts! Anytime I sit down, Tate climbs up on the couch and MUST get behind me. He then uses his freakishly strong for his small frame legs to try to push me off. If I am sitting on the leather chair, he succeeds and I fall off. So the only time mommy can sit comfortably is when Tate is sleeping.

This is a picture depicting it cutely...generally it is not so cute. But the couch hog is wiggling his way in to ensure mommy is not the slightest bit comfortable!

3. In more Tate related news, the kid loves his daddy. He has starting to acknowledge his daddy by saying "dada". When my phone rings, he says "dada" (I guess he thinks only 1 person calls mommy), when he sees daddy's picture on my phone, when he hears the front door open, and also still just as random babble...his favorite syllable! The important part of this is that it is not just the cute "dada", but more of a deep, monster-like, growl. I have no idea what made him start growling it, seriously! It is cute but kind of creepy in public and in nursery I'm pretty sure he is the weird little boy who growls at the other kids!

He is just making sure I know who his daddy is. I am in the process of trying to capture the growl speak on video, but the kid is quite video camera shy.

4. So you would think, or at least I thought, that living in coastal cold weather would diminish the dry skin factor at least a bit. Not for me! My hands are getting pretty close to the need to be amputated state of dryness. Could be from all of the exposure to water...change diaper, wash hands, clean up mess, wash hands, cook, clean kitchen, wash dishes, give baby a bath, wash face. You get the idea. It is a problem.

5. Speaking of cooking, not to brag...okay, actually to brag...I have been kind of a cooking boss lately. Pinterest has become my best friend, a bit of a time waster, but also really helpful in the kitchen. I have been planning out meals 2 weeks at a time, shopping, and cooking like a dadgum chef! It is great and I am bragging. The husband loves it too...he is a well fed man.

6. I now have enough time between myself and my last haircut to talk about it. I must have a sign on my head that says, "Ignore everything I say and cut lots of choppy, short, mulletish layers into the back of my hair." Freakin hate it! So I have been wearing my hair up a lot more often these days until the layers grow back to a much less awful, fixable state.

One of the few pictures of me and my cute boy...I am always behind the camera. Oh, and me with my hair up.

Our Water Bead Experiment!

I had never heard of water beads but read about them on a great blog for play ideas, so I decided to find some and give them a try. I read that they can be found at the dollar store, but I didn't have any luck there. I know people who are really into them also order them off ebay in bulk for cheap, but since I was just getting started I got mine from good old Wal-mart! You can find them in the floral decorating section (should be by the craft stuff), apparently they are used to put in vases and look pretty...whoda thunk!?!

Anyways, I got 3 packages...yellow, blue and green (I read that the red ones can stain), for $2 each. They are tiny little things and I think come 100 to a pack. They are non-toxic but not recommended to eat, obviously, I doubt they would digest well! My little non eater didn't even try to put one in his mouth, he prefers crayons apparently.

We tried the yellow first, here they are ready to "grow"! You soak the package in 1.5 ish liters of water for 4ish hours. The "ish"es are because I don't really remember and don't want to go look at the package! But it really doesn't matter exactly how long or much.

This was after an hour and I though I did it wrong somehow...not much progress :(

But 4ish hours later they had soaked up pretty much all the water, I drained the rest off and we were ready to play!

You mean I get to touch these?!?

This picture is his first time squeezing one with all his little might, which is where the mess comes in...they can kind of bust with that much force from Super T leaving a gel-ish mess. I like my ish-es!

Lots of scooping and transferring. Those are his favorite things to do with lots of little things these days.

Then he went for the one-by-one by hand move, which worked nicely and neatly for a while.

More scooping...

We ended with full on both hand flinging...the camera went away because this clean mommy had a small panic attack! He started stepping on them busting them...a large mess ensued! I am glad he had so much fun, but I now have a shower curtain liner to put on the floor for our next adventure. And, I am planning to bust out the light box from the previous post too...how cool would water beads on lights be?!? Stay tuned for pictures from that. I will everyday be working on my mess anxiety to have pictures of the whole process...flying things and all :)

Inside, cold weather fun!

So, we live in Maine, and it's winter...cold. That means we can't go outside and play all too often. I am not a big fan of having Tate watch too much TV. He never cared about it at all until recently. Now he will pay attention, and actually enjoy a few shows...Disney Jr. stuff, and Backyardigans (he loves those little dancing, singing creatures)! Anyways, I try to limit the TV to a bit in the morning a occasionally in the afternoon if I need to get dinner together and he just doesn't want to let me!

We have been trying fun new things inside and Tate has been having fun exploring. Most activities geared towards "toddlers" are still too advanced for him, so I look for things that will be Tate approved!

This is actually a very recent picture of an outside activity with daddy that I just had to post. I was feeling under the weather, so Tate and daddy went for a walk on the beach on a sunny, warmer day. Obviously daddy doesn't care too much about matching...Tate's outfit was all over the place! But I heard the outing was a big success...running from waves and all!!

This is a common activity while mommy cooks. Tate loves to be in the kitchen with me, so these are his noodles and measuring cups. He scoops, moves, and sometimes tries to eat the raw noodles! It really works to keep his attention and I think he enjoys that fact that he and I are doing the same thing at the same time.

Shaving cream with food coloring for bath tub finger painting! This was the first time, which you can see, most of the painting was done by me...he hasn't quite mastered spelling his name yet. He mostly prefers to paint himself!

This is our homemade light box. I got this idea from a great blog called play at home mom...they have lots of great ideas (many more that I would love to do and have done, just need to get some pictures). The actual light boxes are pricey $50 and up. I made this for $5...proud of myself! All of Tate's toys are so much cooler to him on here. He loves when I pull it out. We usually do this in the evenings before bedtime. It helps to calm him down and he really studies each thing, especially the water bottles filled with items (buttons, glitter, coins, etc.).

I found these vinyl boxes at Dollar Tree and they are great for the light box and he loves them all day to put cars, balls, puzzle pieces, really anything in. The pom-poms are from a sensory bin that needs more work...but he loves pom-poms and loves them even more on the light box!

Reading! The kid loves books...especially ones with cars, trucks, tractors, trains, things that go in them. I have found good simple books at dollar stores for learning objects and words. He loves those types of books and they seem to really be helping him...he is starting to point at more and more things when I ask him!

Coloring! Tate is getting much better and much more interested in coloring. Lately, I know when he is done because he will set all the crayons down, survey his work, and clap! I guess that means the masterpiece is complete. I put the paper in a cookie sheet to keep the paper and crayons from falling on the floor a hundred times during the coloring process. He doesn't care that it is there and it makes his art time last a lot longer because he doesn't get frustrated or distracted due to loosing his crayons!

I made some playdoh from a simple recipe that is edible (but not tasty) and uses koolaid to color it and give it a nice smell. It has taken Tate a few times playing with it to actually use his hands to manipulate it. He seems to really enjoy it now though. We use some kitchen tools and cookie cutters and have some fun!

Water beads!! Another idea from play at home mom. If you don't know what these are, you should check into them...maybe I will do a little post on them cause they are super cool and so fun! See how excited Tate is about them?!?

This is after a lot of playing with them by Tate, daddy, and mommy...don't judge, they are really cool! If anybody wants to know more, leave a comment and I will do a post, I have more pictures including pictures of them "growing"! Seriously, they are cool...kids of any age 1 and up would love them! They are a bit messy, but fun!

Another, in the kitchen activity, putting pom-poms into different sized holes in a butter container! See what I said about him loving to put things in the vinyl containers. I have really started to try to become resourceful in re-purposing things to make activities for Tate. I have found that he enjoys exploring things like this butter container just as much, if not more than, his toys sometimes. So Tate and his mommy are on a new explore and learn adventure and we are having a lot of fun so far...with so much more to come!!!

Now see what Tate thinks about all the fun we have been having...

"Gee, thanks mom for cutting holes in a butter container for me!"

"Oh...and I might actually eat a snack for you if you bring it me on my couch, in an ice cube tray all cute, and turn on some Backyardigans!"

I am up for anything to get this kid to eat. Apparently changing it up a bit and giving him a snack with each bite in an ice cube slot worked...at least for today!

Geez...17 months!

Tate is 17 months, which means 1 month away from a YEAR AND A HALF! How does this warp speed growing of my baby keep happening?!? I will never be okay with it! Seriously, he is still a newborn to me, yet it feels like there has been a carseat in our car forever...you know what I mean. I know it doesn't really make sense, but it's true. Dang babies, grow up way too fast.

He is in a learning growth spurt for sure. Things that used to take him a while to pick up on, he gets so quickly now! I can show him a sign a handful of times and he has it down. He still isn't saying anything, but I know that will come with time. We are still making allowances for his prematurity, in some aspects, mostly in his growth and terrible eating!

He is not premature tiny by any means, he is actually a tall little dude, but skinny! His weight percentiles are constantly dipping off the charts or staying below the 10th percentile. For the past few months he has been on pediasure (which is more expensive than formula, when we should be finally on cheap regular milk...whatever), to help him gain weight and to supplement his nutrition. Seriously, some days he will not eat anything. It really is a constant battle and something that I stress about on an hourly basis. I know one day it will be funny when he is a teenager eating us out of house and home, but right now I would give anything for him to chow down!!

Just had an appointment here with our new Maine pediatrician, who is great old school doctor...cool crazy old man hair and all (I judged when I first saw him)...but he was great. We have lucked out in the pediatrician department with all the moving and changing and the difficult child we have. Our pedis have been so attentive to Tate's needs and medical history and spend time with us. I am uber grateful for that! I got some more reassurance, that I am in fact a decent mom (sometimes that is nice to hear when you get stressed), and we are going to get the referral we need to pediatric gastro doc here. Off to a good start!

17 Month Stats (we have stats for essentially every month, and more!)

21 pounds 7 ounces - 7th %

33.75 inches - 50(something) %

See what I mean...tall and skinny. He seriously has the most hilarious little butt ever!

1. Tate these days could be a silent stand up comedian, just a funny dude. He makes me laugh...when he isn't making me want to lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes of mommy peace (don't judge...you mommies know what I am talking about)!

Did I mention his possible modeling career? The kid can do it all!

2. He signs more, all done, milk, and bath. Bath is for sure his favorite. When he gets bored during the day, he will walk to the bathroom door and just starting signing up a storm. I have to be careful when I use the b-a-t-h word or he can get very upset. The kid is serious about his bath and about his possible career in splashing. He also has a book of pictures to teach words and he likes to turn to the bathtime page and sign away...then clap for himself.

The skinny butt I previously mentioned (notice the perfectly timed shot showing the pee hitting the floor)!

3. Clapping...he stopped for a while, but it is back more than ever now. When people on tv clap, Tate joins in (he seems to support all candidates on the debates). When he successfully climbs onto something he shouldn't be on, he claps.

4. Climbing...just about everything! When he gets on something, he just likes to stand there, like a king of the mountain type thing. Climbs of choice...the coffee table, chairs, barstools, into the drawer under the stove, up the side of the crib (from which point he cries), on top of his ride on car, the toilet...I could go on.

5. The toilet. Still loves it! We got a latch thing for the one in our bathroom so that he can be in our bathroom when I get ready in the morning without a splash fest, now it is just a water wasting flush fest instead and a stack all of mommy's bathroom products on top of the toilet fest. I do sit him on top of the toilet (lid closed) to brush his teeth...not sure why.

6. Teeth brushing...Tate is also a big fan of that. When I say it is time to brush his teeth he goes to the bathroom sink while I get the toothbrush ready, then heads over to the toilet to sit down. He does his own little sign for it too. I brush his teeth then let him do it too.

7. He is finally starting to actually point to things when I ask him. He will now show me his head, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and his favorite (which he will show anyone) belly button. I am pretty sure every kid has a belly button thing at one time or another...cute!

8. Loves little boy hot wheel cars...and mommy thinks it is the cutest thing ever. He likes to carry them around, drive them on things, put them in things, and make his version of the vroom sound. He also points to cars on everything else, his little couch, his pjs, books. Took his first nap with a car in his hand the other day...he fell asleep with it and I thought it was too cute to take it away!

9. Besides his career in comedy, he might be a professional dancing machine! Seriously, the kid has moves...like real rhythm. He gets it! He waves his arm in the air for slow songs and rocks back and forth. And for fast songs, you better watch out cause he will break it down. He was jamming out in Children's Place today in his stroller like his life depended on it...I don't even need to mention that he was wearing sunglasses too. He is too cool for school!

A particularly intense dance session on top of the couch!

10. Tate is totally getting good a being a cold weather baby. He gets his boots when it is time to go and puts his arms out for both of his jackets to be put on. He leaves his hood or hat on...serious progress!

He thinks the elevator in our condo is amazing!

11. Oh...and so sweet, when we get ready to pray at night or for a meal, we tell him it is time for prayer and he fold his cute little arms and smiles all proud. The prayer has to be fairly quick for him to keep them folded and he doesn't have the reverence part down, but it is so dang sweet!

12. He still loves to randomly give mommy and daddy kisses. He will just come up to me during the day and make his kiss face and sound. Melts my heart, every.time.

13. He loves to sit in my lap. I sit on the floor to play with him and he will come up and climb in my lap to sit and play. In the evenings, he will bring me to his room and point to his books so he can sit in my lap for us to read together. I love his time in my lap and I know it won't last :(

I am sure I could go on and on. But Tate does new cute, funny, crazy things everyday. Zachary and I love to lay in bed at night and talk about all those little things. He is such a crazy little blessing and our little monster. I still can't believe how big he is getting!!

Bottom line...love. this. baby.